Tuesday, April 28, 2009

34 in 30 Day: I love you.

Sometimes I have sooo much love inside me to share that all I can do is say it out loud to whomever and whatever is listening. Sounds crazy since I am alone often, but it makes perfect sense because I AM alone so often. After all, what can it hurt? Or I can say it via here, online, text. Today my world was full in a very humbling and human way. I am enlightened, awake, aware, tired and loved.
My art for today was not "art" at all. But it was for me. I am going to get all hippy on your booty now and say this: "Art is Love" and "Love is Art".
To unconditionally love takes a skill of sort, a talent. Love. What it means to everyone is different. Regardless, we all want to be loved. I love helping people, I love being helped. I love sharing, growing, healing, feeling and believing. I could go on and on and on with this stuff today, trust me, so I best get to my point.

Today I went to work for a woman I met via Craigslist not long ago. She was looking for a vegetarian chef to cook in her home a few times a month. She is fighting an illness called "CMT":


She is trying to improve her health through healthy eating. I had the honor of working for her last month once. Let me just tell you, she is the sweetest woman ever. Just being around her makes you feel warm and welcome. She is one of the nicest people I have met since moving to Astoria. After cooking for her, the one time, I went out of town and returned only to be sick with the flu for 2 weeks. In that time she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
I hadn't really heard from her, so I assumed that right now with everything going on, having a cook wasn't really a priority, which I completely understood. Because I had only cooked for her once, I was a little nervous about calling her to see how she was. I knew she had a lot of family and supportive friends around, and figured sending her thoughtful messages now and then would be good enough. I didn't want to be a bother.
A few days ago, I got a message from her asking if I would be interested in cleaning and shopping for her, as well as cooking twice a week. Of course I was very happy about this not only for my financial sake, but also because working for her makes work something to look forward to. Today was my 'first' day. It was soooo nice. My body is tired, but my heart is full. This woman is a true fighter and such an inspiration to be around. I can't explain it, but I leave her home feeling better about life.

She hasn't cried at all since finding out she has breast cancer. She's been busy arranging, planning, making appointments....the list goes on. She is going into surgery next week to have the lump removed and there are so many precautions she has to take before and after. Because of the CMT, the procedure will be more difficult, to a very scary level. Today was a "bad" day for her, which I was humbled by with how much she was getting done and how positive she was. I could tell that she was in "fight or flight" mode. She wakes up and goes goes goes and does does does.... She hasn't given herself a chance to cry and really let go.

Today when I was prepping some tempeh for her she came in and said "Can I have a hug?" I immediately gave her the biggest hug I could without hurting her. My eyes welled up and I was totally touched. I was flattered and honored to be able to be there for her. And she repeatedly said how grateful she was to have me there. She mentioned she needed a good cry. I hope I was able to help her release some of what she is storing. I needed that hug, too.

To love unconditionally is amazing. It seems like this world has lost it's touch. We are all so skeptical and paranoid, not to mention the lack of trust we have with others. The world needs more hugs.
Random hugs.

Today my art was something not seen with the eyes but something shared and felt.

I feel really glad to be alive today, to be able to help someone and feel some sort of purpose to where I am right now. It's been rough since having West Nile and the last few weeks with new freaky symptoms, my energy has been low and my mood even lower.
I am lucky to know this woman and to share a small part of her life in any way I can.

I know my blogs have been kind of crappy. Quickly written, typos, poor grammar... I am sorry. You have to understand my brain goes much faster than my little hands can type at 45 words per minute.
After all, I am an artist.
And I am positive you've heard about us "artist types".
Something up for discussion another time.)
It's not that I only care a half-assed amount, it's that my brain cares about too many things at once. Adult ADD? Hormones? Caffeine? Who knows, but it's just one more little bit of the grab bag of personality traits that makes up Amy M. Willis.

Ok, I need to wash thine face and breathe a while.

Be well and make sure to randomly say "I love you" out loud.
It will be your art assignment for the day.


  1. i really loved reading this. love you amy

  2. I did too:) I've been fighting with so much anger lately this was so good for me to read. I'm so glad you can share your talents with this women what a beautiful experience for both of you. Amy I love you!!!

  3. Sweetheart. I LOVE YOU. I can't say it or feel it enough. Mom


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